24 Things you have to do in Benidorm

  1. Watch Sticky Vicky’s sexy magic show.
  1. Eat something claiming to be food at John and Joseph’s.
  1. Do afternoon karaoke in The Black Chicken.
  1. Stay in Cafe Benidorm until the sun comes up.
  1. Get drunk in the sunshine at Tiki Beach.
  1. Buy a pair of Flossy shoes.
  1. Eat chicken from Marianos.
  1. Be on a cheap airport coach transfer for over 3 hours.
  1. Walk up to the cross on top of the mountain (and immediately regret it).
  1. Wear a hat/cap with ‘BENIDORM’ written on it.
  1. Go to the outdoor market on a Wednesday or Sunday (and not get pick-pocketed).
  1. Buy a €3 watch that breaks 20 minutes after you leave the shop.
  1. Buy and wear an ‘I LOVE BENIDORM’ t-shirt.
  1. Tag yourself in on Facebook at Neptunes Bar.
  1. Have a €3 breakfast.
  1. Moan about some aspect of your holiday on TripAdvisor when you get home.
  1. Get roped in to a stag do’s drinking game.
  1. Plan a night at Benidorm Palace…. and never go.
  1. Take a suitcase load of cigarettes home to flog in the pub.
  1. Almost get run over on what looks like a zebra crossing.
  1. Have a photo taken with a Benidorm act. Wonder who on earth they are when you get home.
  1. Get stuck in a Benidorm rain storm of biblical proportions.
  1. Hire a mobility scooter.
  1. Run somebody over in a mobility scooter.


Author: Asa Elliott

Singer. Mancunian. Been on TV a bit

Share This Post On

1 Comment

  1. Great list! I’ve managed to do a few but not got a photo with u yet. When r u back in benidorm??

    Post a Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *